Unhealthy Relationships - Safe Dates Matter

Unhealthy Relationships

Dating abuse is defined as the physical, sexual, psychological, or emotional violence within a dating relationship, including stalking. It can occur in person or electronically and might occur between a current or former dating partner. It happens any time one person uses a pattern of manipulative or controlling behaviors to get and keep power and control over another person.

Unhealthy or abusive behavior in a teen relationship is about getting and keeping power and control over you.

It happens any time one person uses a pattern of manipulative and/or scary behaviors to get and keep power and control over another person.

Physical Abuse

Slaps, hits, punches you

Pushes you

Pulls your hair

Threatens you with a weapon

Hits your head against the wall or locker

Bites or scratches you

Throws things at you

Kicks you

Spits on you

Chokes you

Stalks you, threatens harm

Uses weapon or objects

Restrains you

Grabs your face so you look at them

Emotional Abuse

Blames you for things THEY do

Humiliates you in public/private

Calls you names and puts you down

Constantly checks or controls your phone and/or social media

Withholds affection/approval as punishment for things you did

Feeling of “walking on eggshells”

Makes you feel “crazy”

Tries to isolate you from friends/family

Verbal Abuse

Calls you names and puts you down

Screams and yells at you

Tells you what to do and wear

Blames your actions for their abusive or unhealthy behavior

Accuses you of cheating and is jealous of your outside relationships

Threatens to commit suicide to keep you from breaking up with them

Threatens to harm you, your pet, or people you care about

Threatens to expose your secrets, such as your sexual orientation

Starts rumors about you

Sexual Coercion

Makes jokes about girls as sex objects

Extremely jealous/won’t let you talk to guys

Accuses you of cheating

Demands their “right” to sex

Forces sex acts you don’t want to do

Gets you drunk or high to force sex

Refuses to use condoms/sabotages birth control

Ignores your feelings/needs about sex

Criticizes you sexually

Teen Power and Control Wheel

Produced and Distributed by: National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence

Unhealthy or abusive behavior in a teen dating relationship occurs any time one person uses a pattern of controlling and/or manipulative behaviors to get and keep power and control over another person.

There can be a lot of pressure to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and sometimes it can seem like everyone has someone but you. Social media and movies can lead you to believe that you are nobody without a significant other. It isn’t true.

It is important for you to know/believe that it is better and healthier to be on your own than to put up with a relationship that takes personal power and control over your own life away from you.

High school can make you feel like you have to have a boyfriend or girlfriend no matter how bad the relationship gets. You don’t.

“Everyone hangs out with us as a couple. I won’t have any friends if I break up with my partner.” You will. Friends who drop you after a breakup weren’t true friends.