Unhealthy or abusive behavior in a teen relationship happens any time one person uses a pattern of manipulative or scary behaviors to get and keep power and control over the other person.

An abusive partner may use any number of methods of control to keep their power over you. Here are some common ones to watch for.

Puts Blame on You

☐ Threatens to commit suicide if you break up.

☐ Treats others well. Says it must be your actions that cause problems.

☐ Says everything would be fine if you didn’t act stupid and just did what he wants you to do, etc.

Isolates You from Others

☐ Accuses you of flirting or cheating.

☐ Starts a fight right before activities you plan to do with other people.

☐ Says you spend too much time with your friends or family.

☐ Tries to get you to quit activities you enjoy, such as sports, cheerleading, clubs, church, etc.

Physically Intimidates You

☐ Drives recklessly and scares you to death.

☐ Refuses to leave when asked.

☐ Destroys or damages your things.

☐ Blocks your way so you can’t leave during an argument.

☐ Scares you by “fake punching” at you or by standing too close over you.

☐ Makes you afraid during an argument, so you give in to what he wants.

Sexual Humiliation

☐ Pressures you to have sex in ways that make you uncomfortable.

☐ Makes sexual jokes about you in front of others.

☐ Makes fun of your body.

☐ Tells dirty jokes that are degrading to you or women in general.

Criticism

☐ Makes you feel you can never do or say anything right.

☐ Calls you names. such as dummy, whore, bitch.

☐ Humiliates you in front of friends or family.

Physical and Sexual Violence

☐ Throws things.

☐ Chokes you.

☐ Hits your head against the wall.

☐ Shoves and pushes you.

☐ Hits you.

☐ Forces you to have sex with others.

☐ Rapes you.

☐ Threatens you with weapons.

☐ Injures you but won’t let you go to the hospital or doctor.

Moodiness, Anger, and Threats

☐ Gets angry if you are even a few minutes late.

☐ Is unpredictable and makes you afraid of a blowup at any time.

☐ Withdraws into silence, leaving you to figure out what you’ve done wrong.

☐ Says you’ll never be allowed to break up with them.

Overprotection and “Caring”

☐ Worries about you so much that you can never be away from them very long.

☐ Is jealous when you talk to others.

☐ Texts, calls, or unexpectedly shows up where you are.

☐ Insists on taking you to school or work and picking you up.

☐ Pressures you to drink or take drugs so you can share the high.

Decision Making

☐ Has to have the last word or win every argument.

☐ Makes all the decisions in the relationship.

☐ Belittles or second guesses your choices.

Ignores Your Needs and Opinions

☐ Constantly interrupts you, twists your words, or ignores what you say.

☐ Shows up unannounced or fails to show up at all so it’s hard to make plans.

☐ Goes out alone, but says you are not allowed to do the same.