Together, you can decide what feels healthy and what doesn’t for each of you. Both of you will need to communicate, and there may be some negotiating and compromising as you figure out an agreement that works for both of you. But if your partner asks you to do something that doesn’t feel right, or they try to control you in some way, that’s when you get to say that this isn’t healthy for you. Even if you trust your partner, sharing passwords for your phone and website accounts isn’t always the best idea. Just like you should be able to spend time by yourself, you should have your own digital privacy. Your partner should trust and respect you enough to allow you privacy. Giving your partner access to your Facebook or Instagram accounts allows them to post anything they want without getting your permission first. Just to be safe, your passwords should be something that only you know so you always have control of your information. It’s important to have digital boundaries about what you’re comfortable sending digitally. Once you’ve hit send on a photo or text, you lose control over who sees it. If your partner sexts you and demands that you sext back, you should be able to tell them you aren’t comfortable doing that, and they shouldn’t get angry or threaten you.

In a healthy relationship, both partners treat each other with respect and are able to communicate open and honestly without the fear of being hurt physically. Both partners know how far each other wants to go and they communicate with each other if something changes. Whether it comes to holding hands, kissing, touching, or “getting physical,” don’t rush. You should be able to take things at your own pace. You should not feel like you owe your partner anything. It isn’t fair for your partner to claim that you don’t care about them because you won’t do something you are not comfortable with or even want.

In many young relationships, couples typically want to spend a lot of time with each other. Remember that it’s important to have some time away from each other, too. Both you and your partner should be free to hang out with friends (of any gender) or family without feeling guilty. It’s also healthy to spend time by yourself doing things that you enjoy. You should be able to tell your partner when you need to do things on your own instead of feeling trapped into spending all of your time together. If your partner says “I love you” and you don’t feel that way yet, don’t feel bad.